Are You Taking Over for Your Loved One or Just Helping Her?


Elder Care in Orinda CA: Are You Taking Over for Your Loved One or Just Helping Her?

You see what you’re doing as just helping your loved one out, but she feels like you’re taking over. You might be shocked to find that you could both be a little bit right.

There’s a Difference

It’s a fine line between helping and dictating to your loved one. You might not even notice when you’ve crossed it, but your loved one likely did. As far as she’s concerned, she might need some help now and again, but she’s not willing to be rolled over like a steamroller. Failing to notice when your loved one isn’t feeling as helped as you’d like can lead to friction between you and she might even refuse current and future help.

Ask Instead of Assuming

Even if you know that your loved one needs your help, it’s a good rule of thumb to ask her if you can help her with a particular situation. This turns a little bit of the control back over to your loved one without throwing your hands up in the air over the issue. If there’s only a part of a given situation that your loved one wants help with, respect that.

Respect Your Loved One’s Position

In fact, practice respecting the entire situation with your loved one. She’s in a position now where she’s having to rely more and more often on the help of other people. If she turns down your offer of hiring elder care providers, for example, it’s most likely because she may not like the idea of having to have that level of help in the first place. It’s a difficult spot to be in.

Focus on Safety and What You Can Do that Is Helpful

Whenever you can, focus on keeping your loved one’s home as safe as you possibly can. Offer to make household repairs for her or do a safety check of the house with her. Let your loved one know that her safety is what you are most concerned about. Keeping your loved one’s wishes in perspective with her safety can help you to walk that fine line.

Helping your elderly loved one doesn’t have to be a battle between the two of you. Sometimes taking a step back and revamping your approach is all you need to do.

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring professional elder care in Orinda, CA, call the caring staff at Aviva In-Home Care. Call today: (415) 795-2203

Evan Loevner, CEO

As a former hospital administrator, I launched Aviva with the goal of having a more focused, direct impact on the delivery of care than I could ever accomplish within a hospital setting. For me, the joy of running an organization like Aviva In-Home Care is having the ability to positively improve the lives of individuals needing customized care. As a passionate San Francisco resident, I know that many local seniors can benefit from new approaches to in-home care, that will bring them more connection to the community, and provide families with a greater sense of comfort that their loved one is indeed matched with an ideal caregiver. This starts by including the family throughout the care planning process, a key component of the concept of “family-centered care,” which has been adopted by top medical centers. A strong communication loop between family, the caregiver, Aviva management, and community healthcare practitioners is essential for ensuring that all the needs of the client are met. While this may not sound like a novel concept, it is not commonly practiced within the home care community.

At Aviva, we also use the latest in health technology to maximize opportunities for communication between all members of our client’s care circles. We utilize nursing oversight to ensure that we are in compliance with physician orders, and that our careplans are being properly administered. Lastly, Aviva is a proud member of The Senior’s Choice, a national network of leading home care agencies that share best practices and focus on continual improvement.

As owner of the business, I also promise to you my direct involvement in your loved ones care, and will always make myself available for feedback and improvements in our service. I look forward to working with you and your loved one on creating a care plan that is perfectly suited to the family's needs. Thank you for considering Aviva as your care partner.